It has been one month since I last blogged. That's a while in Seb-land innit?!
I suppose a lot has happened in that time, but then it also doesn't feel that long ago - when I re-read the posts I realise the decisions I was talking about are still yet to be made. Oh well. It will happen in good time I suppose.
I met with my friend Elliot today in Kro and it was lovely! He's an old school friend I have known since I was 11, which is actually 12 years ago now! We did Spanish and drama together at school but I would say we've become better friends since we left. He's an ace guy and I trust him loads - he's the kind of guy who makes you feel relaxed and totally un-selfconscious.
Seeing him has reminded me of a lot - we talked about funny memories and reaffirmed our similar outlook on various things (such as faux-"travellers" and brunettes).
It's good to remind yourself how ace your friends can be. I guess you could say I've been a little more down in the last month, perhaps more introspective, and perhaps still a little unconfident in myself. I guess I've let myself be taken over by both internal and external pressures...or maybe it's just that I've not listened to enough pop music (and true to form I am listening to the glorious BWO right now).
I've done some wonderfully un-sensible, narcissitic and selfish things in the last month and I think I needed to because I was becoming a bit constrained by myself. With all this decadent self-discovery though has been the return of some unresolved things, and I've been quite pensive. It's odd really, I'm quite relaxed and yet frustrated, busy but lethargic, and happy but longing for something that I'm not quite sure what it is.
I find it hard to concentrate sometimes (more than usual anyway!), and my thoughts just sort of run away with themselves and so when, like today, I'm asked about why someone on medication for rheumatoid arthritis might be getting ulcers I don't think "oh...immunosuppression...corticosteroids...thin skin... blah blah"... because I'm a million miles away and instead I'm just like "UMMMM...ERRR...etc".
I think that in some ways I quite like exploring how I feel about things, but I do also wonder sometimes whether it would be easier to be Vulcan-like and be able to totally control my emotions. But I guess my mixed heritage pretty much disposes me to have a fairly "active" temperment - French, Italian, Polish & Scottish all working together to mean that I'm hopelessly romantic, (too) quick to react to things, fiercely proud and dutiful whilst never losing practicality!
But anyway, what have I done in the last month?
OSCE exam - was alright apart from having to ask the fit model to "take off his shirt" without sounding like I meant it for a shoulder examination, and not knowing that a community mental health team looks after people with mental health problems in the community (and in spite having spent 2 weeks working right with a community mental health team and loving it)
Student Pride - finally, with Bev's massive help, got the Union to book and kind of finalise the plans!
Southampton - made two visits, for Easter week and also the following weekend. Was nice to be with my mum and dad!
Loz - had a picnic in Loz's front room watching The Apprentice and road-tripped to So'ton via the awful Costa Coffee at Norton Caines services.
Trafford - started new placement at Trafford/Altrincham for 3 weeks - it's alright but reminded me how much I have forgotten! I spent today glued to the BNF looking up drug names... admittedly half of these were on behalf of my consultant... but they were things I'm sure I used to know. Have bumped into someone who I wasn't expecting - I know who they are and I'm willing to bet they don't know who I am. Oh well. It's fun to be back though - I seem to know half of the staff in that bloody place and it feels like a home from home!
Anyway, I really need to pack for Birmingham, where I'm heading tomorrow for NUS LGBT Conference... expect a report next blog!
