Alarm goes off. Snooze button depressed
0602h
Crawl out of bed and into shower. Realise have forgotten towel.
0610h
Realise need a shave. Cannot be bothered.
0615h
Select least creased-looking shirt.
0620h
"Breakfast" - at this hour, a glass of water, some tablets and half a piece of toast.
0640h
This being winter, gloves, hat and scarf on ready for the car.
0645h
iPod in, Morning playlist on.
0700h
Hello M61. Mentally remind self for the zillionth time not to follow sign saying "Bolton" in order to get to Bolton Hospital.
0710h
Park up.
0720h
Say "morning" to the night nurses (deliberately leaving out the 'good'")
0730h
Print off lists and test results and find out what bits are missing. Have a minor panic, but remember that I don't care so wander over to F6 to begin the Power-Clerking.
0755h
Still waiting for patients to arrive, but need to go as post-take. Weigh up which consultant getting angry first before remembering I supposedly here for patients, so pace off to F3.
0800h
Night house officer looks fed up. See the on-take list and realise why. Grab some radiology cards, spare history sheets and try to remember where I left all that boyish enthusiasm.
0820h
Breathe out. Have seen 15 patients in almost as many minutes and now struggle to avoid all distractions in order to note down all the jobs.
0830h
Arrive at radiology in order to attempt to get 10 ultrasounds done in 2 slots. Get bleeped 3 times by various wards asking why the jobs I just found out about haven't been done yet.
0900h
Ward round of current patients. Realise no-one has blood forms done and so attempt to dissuade registrar from ordering any more tests to avoid more work.
0930h
"Doctor, can you come and put a cannula in this patient?" Arrive to find patient is not mine.
1000-1230h
Work from bleep to bleep, incredibly inefficiently, but unavoidable unless I throw the bloody bleep out the window. Swear at nurses. Apologise to nurses. Re-explain things to patients. Take bloods.
1230h
Remind self this is lunchtime.
1400h
Realise canteen has now closed.
1401h
Get bleeped by registrar immediately after opening flapjack/Mars bar/crisps/generic fat-snack to do another ward round. Spend ward round apologising for not having done all jobs.
1445h
Arrive on F5 and cup of tea (strong, 1 sugar, drop of milk) and banter from ward clerk. Smile, laugh...then remember where I am and head off to make nonsensical referrals, check bloods and rewrite TTOs because the ones I wrote when I had time have got lost.
1530h
Get bleeped whilst sat by a phone. Immediately call back. Phone engaged. Call again. Rings, but no answer. Call other number for that ward. Get through to ward clerk. "No-one's bleeped you love!"
1535h
Get bleeped from same ward. Go through whole process again. This time get through to early shift nurse who wants me to write up fluid for a patient. Tell her I did it this morning. Nurse apologises.
1540h
Get bleeped from same ward by late shift nurse about the same fluid chart. Am less polite this time around.
1600h
Start checking bloods. realise loads haven't been done. Head off to redo them all.
1630h
Get bleeped by the SHo to ask if there's anything he can do now he's out of clinic. Say you're done and just updating the list.
1631h
Start updating the patient list. Get bleeped about an ill patient.
1700h
Get back from ill patient and redo list because forgot to save it before.
1715h
Get bleeped by the reg to handover patients.
1800h
Think about going home, but instead start printing off tomorrow's elective patient list and preparing the print-outs.
1830h
See every other house officer still at work and have group lament about how crap our jobs/lives/colleagues/sense of personal worth is/are.
1845h
Get in car and head home.
1930h
Sit and talk to housemate for one hour about how much we hate our jobs.
2100h
Refuse to give into tiredness and stay up watching some crap on telly.
2130h
Give in and get into bed.
2230h
Still awake thinking about tomorrow's jobs.
2300h
Watch some more crap TV.
0000h
Finally get off to sleep.
