UK throws it's Eurovision oar in for 2013

Okay, so, here is the United Kingdom's entry for the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest. It's called "Believe in Me" and it's by Bonnie Tyler - yes her off the 80s classics "Total Eclipse of the Heart"/ "Holding Out for a Hero". Not, as reported by the ever happy to dish up whatever misheard rumours they can Daily Fail suggested earlier in the week, Bonnie Langford!

For the second year in a row the BBC have selected the artist and song representing the UK. The majority of countries in Europe hold some sort of event to select their entries, ranging from the bigger-than-Eurovision-itself Melodifestivalen in Sweden to the bizarre vote-for-whoever-cos-we'll-change-it-if-we-want Belarus. The BBC had a go with that, but followed up the magnificent Jade Ewen (singing Andrew Lloyd Webber's "My Time" - watch the YouTube clip at 1:06 for the amazing violin bashing she gets) with the letdown of Josh Dubovie ("That Sounds Good To..." well no-one really), and so went on the pre-selection scavenge therafter, with the mixed results of boyband Blue and last year's Englebert Humperdink.

And herein lies our first problem. Bonnie is not a bad singer or artist, but she doesn't feel particularly current; her last non-compilation album release was in 2005. But she is releasing one this year, and so because the UK populace and BBC still see Eurovision as a bit of a joke, she gains publicity without risking losing anything. If only we had the balls to send our greatest acts like Russia or Sweden do, we might do a bit better... but that's a debate for someone else.

Let's take a look at the video shall we?

00:02 - Ok, so it's gonna be a ballad
00:08 - Is this an IKEA showroom?
00:15 - Nice quasi-rhyming! "And you laugh at thought of putting your faith in stuff... like love"
00:30 - Still no face-on shot and lots of cameras poking round corners - but it's already clear that she's had more than just a good make-up artist.
00:50 - And the chorus hits - I am already doing the "fist-grab" move like a backing singer
01:10 - I am liking these lyrics: "The way I speak the truth; I'll never lie to you"
01:34 - Now I get why no head-on shots; dead behind the eyes
01:40 - God this beach is depressing
01:51 - Hands in the air moment - I can already hear the G-A-Y remix kicking in at this point
02:01 - Those lip fillers are weird right?
02:16 - She actually looks a little drunk now as hit a middle 8 section
02:25 - Suddenly lots of cuts, either she fell over or we're building to that chorus...
02:30 - And here we are. I'm singing along... "Believe in Meeeeeeeeee-yeah-eh"...
02:40 - ...*eyes closed, fist-grab aplenty, wind machine* "The way I speak the truth; I'll never lie to you"
02:56 - Oh its over, was waiting for a bigger finish.

Well, that 3 minutes went quicker than I thought. Initial impressions - quite cute but probably not a show stopper... or a winner. But now I think about it, perhaps it will do better than it seems - a lot of entries this year are uptempo, dance-music infused given Loreen's Euphoria last year. If Bonnie is scheduled in between some of those, they annihilate the audience with some killer staging, and her croaky voice does that powerful-yet-vulnerable thing, this might translate well.

I'm gonna listen again now...

"Believe in Meeeeeeeeeeeeee, yeah-hee-yeah-eh"

I'm sold.

See you in Malmo Bonnie!

An Open Letter to Yodel

I thought I would share this with you, given the difficulty I have had contacted Yodel regarding it. Feel free to share, I for one would be happy for market forces to see Yodel's business redistributed to some other players in the delivery market.

http://www.yodel.co.uk/

Dear Very:

 

I wanted to write to you to tell you about my experience with your chosen delivery partner, Yodel.

My previous experience with Yodel has not been positive. The first delivery I had from them (from a purchase at BigGreenSmile) was not delivered on the day paid for, and nor was a card left. No email or SMS had been sent, so there was no actual way to track my delivery, nor a contact that was able to do this. Eventually I contacted the original company, whom had had the parcel delivered back to them, and we rearranged delivery with a different company.

The last Yodel delivery I had, from a clothing retailer, resulted in my purchase being left in a "safe place". This happened to be a recycling bin, which is perhaps not a terrible idea, except that it was my neighbour's bin, and the delivery on the day before our bins are collected. Needless to say I am lucky that my neighbour is observant, for yet again, no card was left. The Yodel website and contact centre could only inform me that the parcel had "been delivered", but not to where.

And so perhaps you can understand that my heart sank when I confirmed my order with you and saw that Yodel would be responsible delivering my new Sony Xperia T phone. I decided to try and have an open mind, but my previous experience was to be repeated.

I had paid for delivery between 0700-1200 on Very.co.uk (a slightly more expensive option). I was already suspicious from the day before, when I received an SMS and email from Yodel, inviting me to change the delivery date, but brushed this off as a technical issue (after all, I had paid extra for "next day" delivery).

I was duly awake and ready from 0645, but as midday approached, I realised that my delivery was not coming. I gave an hour or so's grace, then called you at Very, where you were very pleasant, but regretfully unable to help. You too, could see that my parcel had been loaded onto a van at 0949. I contacted Yodel, who's automated system informed me it might be 2100 before my parcel arrived. I remained at home until that time, but no delivery came. It was interesting then to note that delivery had apparently been attempted at 1019. There is no polite way to say this, but either Yodel is lying, or they did not attempt to deliver to the right address; neither of which is acceptable.

The Yodel tracking itself was not updated until later in the evening, a fact of which I am aware as I was unable to rearrange delivery until the next day. I contacted Yodel and expressed my dissatisfaction, but they were unable to do much more as the parcel was again on the van. They stated they would inform the local centre that my parcel was not to be left in a "safe place" (i.e. a bin) and that I would collect directly from the warehouse the following day. I noted that no card had been left by the supposed delivery agent (Do Yodel drivers even carry cards I wonder? - I have yet to see one)

When I returned home that evening, it was with some surprise to see that a parcel had been posted through my letterbox, containing my new phone. Although I was pleased to have received my purchase, I note the Yodel tracking website states "Parcel delivered - with signature 7130_MIDN_02" at 1414. As there was no-one in at that time, I am fascinated to whom this signature belongs to. Perhaps more amusing is the fact that my parcel was somehow delivered through that convenient medium, my letterbox, which had not been possible the day before, despite the added convenience of my presence for 14 hours.

I could perhaps add some questions about the appropriateness of shoving a £300 phone through a letterbox without a signature, but I suppose if I were vindictive enough it would be easy for me to claim I had never received the phone, given the lack of evidence it has taken place.

I think that the essence of what I am describing is that Yodel clearly did not bother to deliver the parcel when they had been contracted by you at Very.co.uk to do so. Delivery on Tuesday was perhaps inconvenient, so they left it for a day. I'm an amiable person but I would have preferred a more honest approach.

For me it is third time unlucky, and I am not prepared to go through this ridiculous rigmarole on further occasions. I would urge you at Very to seriously consider your choice of delivery agent. For me personally, no offer or incentive would persuade me to purchase from you again if Yodel were to be entrusted with a task that they have repeatedly demonstrated to me they are incapable of doing.

As a personal customer, I seriously doubt anyone at Yodel could care less about my custom, but I suspect they might care about yours.

I would be grateful for a refund of the delivery charge I paid, which I sincerely hope you claim back from Yodel, as I think I have given enough detail to understand just how much the delivery service failed on this occasion. I'd also been keen to hear your feedback about this delivery from Yodel.

Thanks for your time.

Seb

 

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: "donotreply@sms.yodel.co.uk"
To: SEB Sent: Tuesday, 5 March 2013, 20:19
Subject: From Very

From Very - Sorry we missed you! We have just attempted to deliver your parcel for your order reference Very but unfortunately we missed you. A Calling Card was left by the Yodel driver but to speed up redelivery you can go to the re-delivery booking website at www.myyodel.co.uk  If you enter the parcel ref, your home postcode you will be able to choose a new day for delivery. Thank you.