I believe that it's the small things in life that matter. You can improve something by making tiny changes, and by working up from the bottom, you can truly achieve greatness.
Today is my little brother's birthday, so I thought I'd make a show of the fact he's getting old, ha ha!
Olly is an ace brother, he's one of the best friends I have actually. It wasn't always the way... we used to fight on and off a lot, but I think we've both come to enjoy our differences. He's really been there for me when I've needed someone, and we've also had great fun together, doing stuff like canoeing in Slovenia or larging it up in Pop. I like how Olly is laid back... I've really learnt from that cos I can be a bit uptight sometimes. He's really loyal and probably the most generous person I know.
He makes films, and if you haven't seen already, why not take a look at what he does, it's pretty amazing actually...
So here are my favourite songs appearing in the second Semi...
Semi-Final 2 - Thursday 22nd May 01 - Iceland: Eurobandið "This Is My Life"
Once you've listened to this you'll probably understand why I keep playing it on YouTube. The singers are really good and I love this Europop shit. Iceland never do very well at Eurovision so I'd like this one to at least break the Final.
02 - Sweden: Charlotte Perrelli "Hero"
After a year out, we're back to the great Swedish pop choon, with wind machines aplenty. Take a look at Charlotte's face - it's hard to believe she's a real person - it's like someone shrink-wrapped her head in plastic.
04 - Ukraine: Ani Lorak "Shady Lady"
This starts off a bit weird but it's a grower. Ukraine produce a great song year upon year. Oh, and she's got a great pair of lungs on her too...
08 - Czech Republic: Tereza Kerndlová "Have Some Fun"
This song appears to be about a casual shag and includes the great lyrics "If you wanna have some fun then don't run" and "I just wanna be your friend for fun fun fun".
09 - Belarus: Ruslan Alekhno "Hasta La Vista"
I kept waiting for this song to be crap but it's actually pretty good. There's something odd about this guy to look at though...
12 - Bulgaria: Deep Zone & Balthazar "DJ, Take Me Away"
This is quite surprising really, it doesn't sound like a Eurovision song at all, it's like a song you'd hear in a club, not be sure of at first, but then keep singing for days after.
14 - Georgia: Diana Ghurtskaia "Peace Will Come"
With a title like that, she's sure appealing to all those warring nations. But it's actually not as sickly as you initially imagine it's going to be. My favourite bit is when you think she's started sining in Georgian, but its still in (unitelligble) English.
16 - Malta: Morena "Vodka"
This song is totally bonkers, you wonder what it must have beaten to become Malta's entry. Having said that, it's kinda engaging, and has the brilliant lyric "Vodka is the secret word", so the NHS probably won't be hiring her for their cut binge-drinking campaign any time soon.
And so there we go. And what, might you be thinking, are the UK sending to Eurovision? We're sending a binman who lost, i.e. DID NOT HAVE, The X-Factor. Here is his video.
You might think I've put the wrong link, as Andy Abraham appears to have no rhythm and indeed looks rather bored throughout. Why isn't he looking at the camera? Why isn't he tapping his feet in time? But it's too late now, this is what the British public are sending to beat all these great entries. Good luck Andy.
No, not Christmas... it's coming round to that time of year where odd English translations are celebrated, national costumes ridiculed and maps of Europe consulted as people ask "Where the hell are San Marino, Azerbaijan and Belarus?"
Yes, you've guessed it, the 53rd Eurovision Song Contest is less than 2 months away, and now that all the 43 participating countries have selected their entries, I've been scouring YouTube to see what there is to look forward to... and also where I can have my toilet breaks.
The Contest has changed a little this year - there are now two Semi-Finals on the 2oth and 22nd of May, followed by the Final on Saturday 24th May. And it's all coming from Beograd/Belgrade in Serbia - yes that country on the news all the time at the moment due to Kosovo's little declaration of independance... should make for a calm show huh?
There has been an underlying fear in my mind this year as the Contest has traditionally been held the week before Medical School Finals. Luckily though, the Contest is after my dreaded exams, meaning it's pretty likely our living room will be filled to bursting again this year.
10 countries from each Semi will go through to the final, and so I'm going to show you some of my favourites from each... let's see if my preferences match with those of the totally non-politically biased views of Europe.
Semi-Final 1 - Tuesday 20th May
02 - Israel: Bo'az Ma'uda "The Fire In Your Eyes"
Okay, so perhaps I like this cos Bo'az himself is a pretty picture... I definitely don't think Hebrew lends itself to singing very much.
07 - Azerbaijan: Elnur & Samir "Day After Day"
I always like the new countries' entries, they really go for it. And so here is the Azeri song, which could not be more camp if it tried really - a devil and a bleach-blond angel singing something or other to rock music, it's just brilliant.
08 - Slovenia: Rebeka Dremelj "Vrag naj vazme" (To Hell With It)
As Slovenia is my favourite country in the world, I have to like this song even if it is a bit duff. Well, it's not all bad, but it's safe to say Eurovision 2009 won't be in Ljubljana.
10 - Poland: Isis Gee "For Life"
Well after a quick break during Norway's typically nice entry (read: dull), here is what I think could be a winner actually. This song reminds me of Shiri Maymon (Israel) a few years ago, it's a really beautiful ballad sung by a blond with a good pair of lungs on her (read: a cracking rack). This is quite possibly my favourite song this year.
11 - Ireland: Dustin the Turkey "Irelande Douze Pointes"
This joke entry featuring a turkey puppet (where else but Eurovision?!) is actually alright - I like the name check of all the countries at the end especially.
12 - Andorra: Gisela "Casanova"
Andorra have never made the final... this probbaly won't turn the tide but it is delightfully europop with a ridiculous beat... it sounds like a Cascada album track.
14 - Armenia: Sirusho "Qele Qele"
I think I have a weakness for these Transcaucasian countries.
18 - Russia: Dima Bilan "Believe"
This hottie came 2nd in the Contest in 2006, and whilst this song isn't as good, this guy is an artist in his own right - it's the equivalent of the UK sending someone like Justin Timberlake to Belgrade.
And shockingly, I don't actually like Greece's entry this year... but maybe I'm smarting cos they didn't choose the far hotter Kostas Martakis...
Well, that's the first Semi-Final... and as you can see I like a fair few in it! Which is a bit gutting as it's the Semi-Final the UK doesn't have a vote in (we only get to vote in the second semi on Thursday). My run-down of the Second Semi-Final in the next blog...
Saturday, 23 February 2008
I often think that I'm not a lucky person, you know, because I never win a crappy prize at a raffle or I've only ever won a tenner on the lottery.
But I've done okay this week, I've got my first choice job at Bolton, to start in August! Dr Pillon (that's me) will be working in Breast Surgery, Complex Medicine, Psychiatry, Paediatrics, A&E and General Practice for two years in Britain's largest town. "Just" got to earn that MB ChB qualification now eh?
I've just finished my General Surgery placement at Trafford General. I've never wanted to be a surgeon but I actually had an ace time at Trafford. I've always liked placements there, it's a really nice little hospital and it's been really great being part of it for 2 months. Despite the 8am starts, I've had a lot of fun with the house officers and I've even done stuff like night shifts (which is perhaps evidence of "Finals Craziness" kicking in). I even gained a new nickname "Sam", which I might keep for future surgical jobs. And I've made some new friends: Nadia, Su, Lucy, Sally, Aki & Sarah/Jack. And of course, Dr Sarah G (aka The Boss) herself - I will miss being part of our dynamic duo! On my last day yesterday, I went back to Day Surgery, where I did my first ever placement. It was vasectomy afternoon, and in front of all the nervous looking men, I picked up Sheila, a health care assistant who first looked after me on my wide-eyed first day. It was quite moving actually - they've seen me grow up over the past three years and I hope I will still get chances to pop back and say hi. I left my 4 month stint in Blackburn feeling pretty confident about the whole junior doctor role, and at Trafford I've had the chance to take that further and I'm pretty proud of where I am now. It's odd to think that I was seriously considering leaving medicine 6 months ago; this year has kind of brought things together for me.
My next and last block will be in Liasion Psychiatry in North Manchester/Oldham. It's my elective block, so I have to explain it with faux embarrassment as I "should" really be on a beach somewhere pretending to learn. But actually, I'm really excited about getting the chance to try out the career I want to do for two months, it's pretty unique!
The "fat, waddling staff" at Trafford General in the comments section of a story about the Trust's cash crisis
Acid-Base balance, Kidneys and other such things I thought I could get away without learning...
I've been mostly spending money on:
Some lovely shoes from Dolcis at The Trafford Centre thanks to their closing down!
things at the DVLA webiste: road tax, change of address, new driving license, the list is surprisingly long
Anyway, I'm done now. Goodnight
Sunday, 10 February 2008
Okay. So my temperament is such that I get pretty emotional about things. Nothing new.
I wasn't really prepared for what happened... even with the minor warning the BBC puts out. I've just watched this week's Casualty. Now, I don't want anyone thinking I'm some nut who loves this show in a disturbing way, and I know I've recently blogged about it.
But that's because it's some incredible television... actually, it's better than that description suggests... it's fantastic and believable drama worthy of more praise than it will ever probably get.
This week was the story of Ruth Winters, an F2 doctor who hanged herself, told from her diary leading up to her hanging. Raw is good word to describe the episode.
I'm not really embarrassed to admit that I was proper crying by the end of the programme. I was actually cut up. Ruth was an excellent doctor, perhaps a bit cold, who pushed herself too hard. She's had a shit life. But she's a good person (slash fictional character, whatever!). And Georgia Taylor, the actress, did a great job at playing her.
But good drama makes you emotional not just because it's good, it's because it hits you personally, and makes you think about yourself. And you know what, I'm really scared. I've been matched to a Foundation Programme in Bolton from August. I'll be the kind of doctor Georgia Taylor is pretending to be. But I'm going to be doing it for real. And I'm not supposed to let on that I'm scared. The medical culture is such that I must appear brave and confident at all times. It's not the done thing to let your mask slip, to admit you're wrong. Indeed, there are certainly people who, if reading this, would be absolutely thrilled because my seeming incompetence helps them propel up the ladder. I guess medicine isn't unique in this way, most jobs require competitive staff in order that the best progress and make the company or business strong.
And my problem is that this way of life just isn't very me. I spent the first part of my twenties pretending things were okay and smiling when I wasn't happy because I didn't want to admit I could have got it wrong. I let myself be walked all over by someone who didn't really care for me at all, but happily let me care for them. And it's a lonely feeling when you can't be yourself. And I don't I want to repeat that experience for the rest of my working life, pretending that all is okay. I'm not Ruth...and I'm not planning on hanging myself. But I'm going to face the same pressures as she did, and I'm not really sure how I'm going to deal with them.
...
Well... if you've read through you might feel like I did after watching Virgin Media ask me if I wanted to end the Catch Up TV Showing. So let's break the mood with a Paris Hilton video. :-p
I've just watched this Saturday's (5-Jan-2008) episode of Casualty via my handy Virgin Media On Demand. It was brilliant. So brilliant in fact, that I'm compelled to write about it now.
Just to recap a little...
A few weeks ago Charlie, a charge nurse in the Emergency Department of over 30 years, and Tess, another charge nurse were forced to choose between themselves who should be made redundant... Charlie ended up leaving post, much to the dismay of the staff.
Abs, another nurse, whilst fond of both his seniors, was seriously pissed that Charlie had left, and asked his union to support a strike. they did not, so he asked all the ED staff to follow policy to the letter and "Work To Rule" - this meant following their contracts to the letter (i.e. no unpaid overtime, no duties they weren't insured for and taking breaks as recommended)
As a result, the ED was seriously overstretched, and one doctor chose to blame Abs, saying he endangered patients.
And this was the brilliant bit.
Abs then made an impassioned speech about how he was constantly expected to work outside his contract. By taking breaks he was legally compelled to take, by not attending road accidents he wasn't insured to attend and by working to the rules supposedly in a nurse's contract, he said that he was indeed endangering lives. And that perhaps he should resign. "But I won't." he said, "Because I want to be a good nurse."
"Why is it that we're supposed to have the best health service in the world, but it's run like a dodgy backstreet garage?"
Now... of course Casualty is a BBC drama, not a real-life documentary. But Abs' speech struck a chord with me.
I honestly don't have one F1/F2 doctor friend that doesn't have to work outside their contracted hours on a daily basis. Is it that they're lazy or incompetent? It's unlikely. There's just too much work to be done that simply doesn't fit into the contract.
A more senior doctor friend I have works on shift-rota that requires 14 doctors to work but only employs 11, and thus requires overtime from all staff, every day, every week. No effort has been made to fill these 3 vacant full-time posts, by the way.
And let's not start on nurses. I've worked as a health care assistant, so have a fair idea of how long things take. And it's rare that I go on a ward and see enough nurses to be able to cover patient's basis needs.
So what is this a rant about? I think the NHS is pretty good but of course not without its problems. I don't think I have enough experience to know how to deal with them, so I'm not going to try here.
But I do know that doctors or nurses are often cited as being incompetent or lazy. And the NHS is often criticised and rarely praised. It's used as a battleground for politicians.
My beef is with the attitude that NHS workers have developed a culture around themselves that requires them to work unpaid hours just to maintain patient safety. The culture that makes you feel guilty for being ill because you know your colleagues will be unable to cover for your absence. The culture that encourages you to think that by not pushing yourself up to your limits on nearly every day, you are responsible for endangering patient safety.
So what, you might say? What's an extra 30 minutes a day, with no breaks and a 20 minute lunch? Well, it's nearly 6 hours unpaid a week... that's a lot to ask of all your staff that other businesses wouldn't get away with.
To be a healthworker requires a lot of dedication. You agree to give yourself to the job in a way that few other professions do (perhaps the Army is a good comparison) - but you shouldn't have to agree to give your life away to save money that could employ someone to ease that burden.
And I really thank the BBC for making a drama that shows just how true this is.
You can watch the episode on BBC iPlayer for the next week, and a catch up clip on the show website.
I was going to start this blog by seeing how well I'd done on achieving my 2007 Resolutions... but apparently I did not make any... or if I did... I forgot them. Oops.
So what's up for 2008? I got asked what my resolutions were going to be last night, and I said I wasn't going to bother because I always break them. But that's rather defeatist isn't it, so let's make that number one... stay positive! A lot of people only really see the smiley Seb but I can be a bit of a grump sometimes, so I'm going to pledge to be all Pollyanna and look on the bright side.
Something I also always say is "get fit". And I'm not fat or anything, but I could definitely do more than I do now. So let's set an acheivable goal and work from there... I'm going to go for a run every week.
I'm also going to make better use of my Orange phone contract. I get about a zillion free minutes I never use, I didn't even set up a Magic Number til a fortnight ago and I do not religiously go to the cinema every Wednesday. So expect calls asking to go to the AMC!
Also, I'm going to pledge to give money to the LGF (Lesbian and Gay Foundation) in Manchester once/if I get a job in August. This is partly to satisfy my friend Rachel who works very hard there and is always trying to get me to sign up, but also because it's a great charity that does a lot and doesn't have a lot of ways that it can earn money.
And, let's have 5 resolutions. This last one is rather up to fate who I hope is listening/reading (whatever). Can we sort me out with a man this year please? A really nice one, with a lovely smile (own teeth essential), who not only likes me, but I like him as well. Who will put up with a slight Eurovision obsession*, a near-constant laugh and a rather talkative nature.
Come on then 2008, it's gonna be gr-eat (that rhymes btw)
*Can I just take this moment to point out the trauma that is the fact that the Eurovision Song Contest 2008 takes place in the week leading up to my finals - how unfair is that?!
Well it's been a week of endings... let's take a look.
After 16 weeks of living in Blackburn, my time is up. Bizarrely, I've had a great time. I really didn't expect to... but it's been a blast, and I've made some great new friends and dare I say it... I actually can see myself as a doctor now. Which is saying something, as I was pretty sure I was going to quit when I started this final year. So a big thanks to the doctors who I've worked with over the past few months - especially Munro Donald, Damien Lynch, Jenny MacDowall, Annalise Brown, Kate Hooks, Ash Dharmalingum, John Brockbank & Adam Matson. My time in Blackburn has really made me think about where I want to do my Foundation Years, and also what I want to do after that. I've actually ended up realising I quite like medicine... so I'm now really looking forward to my elective because it should help firm things up!
As for my first job, I'll be ranking my choices in a few weeks, and assuming I'm in the NorthWest, my favourite jobs are in East Lancs, Blackpool, Bolton, Barrow and Rochdale, but there's still a lot to think about. I really want to have a psychiatry block, minimal surgery blocks, and ideally some paediatrics. I really really don't want Trauma and Orthopaedics. Let's see what my score is in January!
And so I've said goodbye to Blackburn but I've hinted at other losses thhis weekend... well it has not been a great time where TV talent shows go. Same Difference came third in The X-Factor Final, whilst Gethin Jones was knocked out of Strictly Come Dancing on Sunday. Oh well... I'm not bothered. HRNK! What a lie, I was pretty gutted. My friend's sister who I've never met was worried about me... so I think my recurring reality TV obsession might have reared its head.
Anyway, here are some videos of them to remind me of the good times! Annoyingly, "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" keeps getting deleted from You Tube's Same Difference repertoire - but for the moment, there are enough people uploading it that it crops up every now and again!
I wonder if SD will be cheap enough by September so I can book them for my birthday?! NAd then I could have a "My Super Sweet 16th... well 25th" type tantrum if I can't have them.
Breaking Free
Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now
And now for some of Geth's finest moments...
Waltz - "If I Were a Painting"
Salsa
And they're all on the BBC website which is alright... but more of Geth please. And because they haven't...here are some of mine...
PS - If you see this woman in the street, or perhaps warbling at the top of her lungs somewhere, feel free to maybe trip her up or throw something at her. If this makes no sense to you... read here...
Two weeks left at Blackburn and it's kinda sad. I've made a load of new friends and I can honestly say I've not really been this close to medics in my whole time at Uni. I'm really going to miss living in the House of Horrors and wandering about Blackburn. But I'm mainly going to miss stuff like going to Tesco with Rachel, comparing Yetunde to popstars, (not) playing Terry with Jordan and hearing Igor's phlegm wake me up. But enough reminiscing - there's only 10 working days to get lots done!
Just worth noting that Gethin Jones got 39/40 for his waltz in Strictly Come Dancing yesterday - he was more gorgeous than I've ever seen. Having said that, I actually think Matt should win because his performances just seem better on the whole. I'm at the stage I get to in Reality shows where I realise how attached I've become and that I need to prepare myself to let the show go! Although I seriously do want to start ballroom dancing, I really do! Any takers?
My main dilemma this week is what to do about Christmas. The last 2 years I've bought "gifts" from oxfamunwrapped.com but I've read some opinion articles which have made me feel bad about this; i.e. that you shouldn't foist charity onto people. But I do still think that they are nice gifts and for the £5-£10 budget I have for each person, a lot more satisfying than some crap I've found on the high street. I need to decide what to do soon!
This week I have mostly been:
discovering: Custard Apple Fruit/Sitaphal Nintendo Wii Rheumatology quirks How not to flood the engine of your car by doing what an annoying neighbour says How to play mobile phone companies off one another
listening to: Girls Aloud - Tangled Up Emma Bunton - A Girl Like Me Darren Hayes - This Delicate Thing We've Made Dubstar - Goodbye Craig David - Slicker Than Your Average
watching: Season 4 of Six Feet Under: I think this might be my favourite season, there are some great Ruth & Bettina stories.
YouTubing lots of:
Serebro - Dyshi Serebro were Russia's Eurovision 2007 - but this video is just amazing and the song quite haunting. though I don't know what it's about so it might be about kittens or something.
Dannii Minogue vs Jason Nevins - Touch Me Like That The wonder of Dannii's immobile forehead doesn't distract from the fact that this is pretty good.
D'Nash - Amanda D'Nash were Spain's Eurovision 2007 entry (yep, another one), but they're kinda cute (ish)
Ordinary Boys - I Luv U
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
Well it's been 6 months and 1 day since I last blogged.
There's a story there... someone didn't like what I wrote about them and kicked off. So I suppose it's true when they say that the truth hurts - and she really is a miserable cow!
Anyway, I kind of fell out of the habit, summer came and went and I started final year of Medicine which has kind of taken over really. And so here I am, blogging because that's easier than doing what I should really be doing.
Perhaps I should explain. I'm currently on my second placement of four in Royal Blackburn Hospital, based on a Gastroenterology ward. And right now, this minute, I'm in the 24-hour library, with 6 of my fellow final years, as we all desparately try to complete our application forms for Foundation Training - our doctor jobs for the next two years. The form we have to fill in might perhaps scare patients if they saw how their doctors had got their jobs.
As an example:
Describe one example from your own clinical experience that has increased your understanding of the importance of team working. What was your role and contribution to the team? What have you learned and how will you apply this to your foundation training? (8 points/150 words)
The questions are all like this and what I find most difficult is the 150 word limit. If you read the question, there are actually five separate components to answer and so about 30 words, or 2-3 sentences each.
Those who know my love of talking will understand the trauma this form has caused me. Never before have I had to be so ruthless with superfluous adjectives. And I personally am frustrated that to really display your acheivemnts is really hard without freedom to describe them, and so I imagine that most of the 1000s of applicants will have very similar answers, devoid of personality, but full of buzz words like "motivate", "negotiate" and "euthanise".
Well, maybe not that last one.
Anyway, I'm otherwise having a right laugh in Blackburn (anyone googling that phrase might be surprised to find it has a hit), living in the staff residence with some great people. I'm actually really going to miss being here, with the people I've met when I have to leave at Christmas. We had a great German-themed Oktoberfest party (which pleasingly generated complaints from the lower floors of the block) a few weeks back, and future plans include a "Communist" party - dressed in grey, no music, copious vodka.
Back in Manchester, wehre I usually return at weekends, I'm now living with Ruth and Hannah, and we are all so busy we have yet to manage to all go out for dinner together, but we regularly congregate round the stairs to rapidly exchange details of our lives.
That's probably enough now, I'd be better gently weaning myself back into blogging, so I'll leave with some links to songs that I am YouTubing more than is healthy (and I've yet to even mention Gethin Jones on Strictly Come Dancing)
Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love
Same Difference - Reach (they are so happy its lovelyscary)
