Sunday 17 December 2006

7 days to go

In 7 days and about 8 minutes time I will be sat back at home in Southampton, waiting for my mum, dad and brother to get themselves ready so we can drive to my granny in the New Forest ready to begin Christmas.


My grandfather was Polish, and so we celebrate Christmas Eve, which involves eating 7 types of fish, singing some carols and then heading to midnight mass. It's lovely for the most part, with all the traditions from leaving a place-setting free for Jesus (cos he's coming that evening you see) to bickering about the cooking and enduring the incense-heavy Mass.


I feel a bit selfish then when I feel a little uncomfortable at Christmas. I'm not out to some of my family, because the ones that would be alright with it would probably say to the ones that aren't. I'm not proud of this fact, and I wish I could be brave enough to be fully open. I dread when conversation approaches something like "Have you got a girlfriend?". I've never lied to this question - I don't have a girlfriend - but there is a definite feeling that I'm hiding something, which I hate because I just want to be honest.


I'm lucky that my close family are all so brilliant - and it could have been the case that I had no-one to support me, but luckily they know how it makes me feel and they help out by steering conversation away, and understand why I might disappear to my room for longer than I really need to "to find something".


There are many young LGBTQ people that don't have such a great family, or at least don't know that they have such a great family just yet. With a bit of thought, it's easy to see why LGBTQ people are so much more likely to become depressed at Christmas. Suicide rates are at their highest over the 'festive' period - because feelings of being alone are accentuated when the world around seems to be grouping off into family units.


Christmas is also a time when less-liberal Churches are brought more to the forefront and have the opportunity to voice homophobic beliefs. It's sad that they can't use the time of year to promote communionship rather than a need to segregate other human beings.
I guess for me, it's a time to realise that the need for LGBTQ organisations is still pretty important. There is so much needless suffering at one of the nicest times of year in what is a pretty progressive country. I hope that in 2007 we will see more LGBTQ people joining the campaign movement so that in Christmas 2007 there won't be so many young people feeling that there is no way out.

Thursday 14 December 2006

Eating properly

This is what I have eaten in the last few days. I am writing this to shame myself into trying harder!

Wednesday 13th December
Croissant
Vegetable Pasta Bake
Bakewall Flapjack
Bagel with peanut butter
Lots of Quality Street
Mince Pies and Bailey's cream (again)
3 coffees

Tuesday 12th December
2 croissants
Gingerbread Xmas biscuits
Cadburys Dairy Milk with Almond & Honey
Mince Pies and Bailey's cream
2 coffees
2 teas
Chicken Samba and Garlic Naan (c/o Spicy Hut)
2 Boddies
1 whiskey and ginger

Monday 11th December
Coffee
Walkers Ready Salted French Fries
Xmas Dinner (Turkey, sprouts, potatoes, carrots, stuffing)
approx 2 bottles red wine
1 Bucks Fizz

This isn't really hitting the old 5-a-day now is it?!

I think this may be a New Year Resolution kind of issue.

Sunday 10 December 2006

Sunday morning

It's been quite a good week really. I'm sat in my pyjamas and I'm fairly relaxed - which is good for me!

I'm loving Paediatrics at Bolton hospital - it's really confirmed for me that I want to be a paediatrician of some description. I'm up at 6.30 every day to drive there before the M60 traffic kicks in, but I am enjoying myself so much that I don't mind.

My SSC project there is in "Adolescent Health Services", and because people over 16 years old tend to be on adult wards, I scavenge around the site looking for teenagers, which has earned me a couple of suspicious looks when I wander to the nurses' station to ask "Hello! I'm Seb, I'm a medical student and I wondered if you had any teenagers on your ward". Everyone thinks I'm a paedophile - so I've started wearing my ID badge more prominently!

I actually think I want to work in Bolton, I have the same feeling I had at Trafford - and the bonus is that there are more things going on at Bolton (and less likelihood it will close down).

What's happened LGBT-wise this week? Well I trialled having the LGBT Welfare/Campaigns Collective at a different time to see if we would get some more people along but it didn't really work. It really brought home the message that we need to engage people into campaigns a bit more, and I wonder whether LGBT Awareness Week (February 2007) needs to make that one of its primary aims.

Having said that, the small band of us that there was did come up with some really good ideas for the week, which will be ace if we can pull them off! Caroline was a new face and she had lots of ideas, which was really satisfying and we spent over an hour coming up with things we can do.

After the Collective I went to the LGBT PG/Mature Students evening after a debate about whether I was eligible - I'm a graduate undergraduate who is 23 years old but not really a postgraduate or a mature student. However, when two 21 years old Masters students turned up, it seemed okay that I could go! The 12 of us had a really nice dinner and it was great to meet some new people - I felt really comfortable and I'm really looking forward to the next one now.


That's it, apart from Matt and my vague stalking of Kieron Richardson from Hollyoaks. Neither of us watch it, but he is on the cover of the AXM magazine in the LGBT Library at the moment. And we probably wouldn't have clocked him if it weren't for his minder - you can't help but be noticeable when you have "people" around I guess!

He was quite shy, but didn't seem to mind us whacking him with our drunken dancing! I think Matt quite fancied him - which I feel safe to say seeing as he hates computers and will never read this!

Monday 4 December 2006

Cascade

As always happens when I should be focussing on something else (in this case, learning the National Service Framework for Children, Young people & Maternity Services http://www.dh.gov.uk/PolicyAndGuidance/HealthAndSocialCareTopics/ChildrenServices/ChildrenServicesInformation/fs/en)
I have lots of other ideas filling up my head that I really would like to do something about.

Would anyone like to pay me just to come up with ideas all day and make and do things with them?!

As I am rather LGBT-obsessed at the moment, this is where my ideas seem to be focussed. Here is my relentless train of thought (somewhat condensed for attempted clarity):

I am worried that Student Direct (the UMSU newspaper) will not give us much space for LGBT Awareness Week 2007. So I would like to make our own magazine. That then made me think of the god-awful snubbing of our Peer Support Centre article, and I wonder whether the PSC groups should club together to create a "Welfare magazine", it would kind of be a one-off, with lots of advice info from the different groups, that would also help publicise the Peer Support Centre.
I'm now back on LGBT Awareness Week. Where will I be in February? Last year I just took a week off but I've realised I have no idea whether that's going to be possible this year. I really want to though. I want to invite lots of people to come up, I want the week to be brilliant! I'm hoping Bev and chums from IGLYO will do something, I would love Imaan to come again, and I know Shell is planning some LGBT History things. I'm excited! I'm looking forward to bribing people into giving ideas on Thursday in exchange for ASDA snacks and goodies.

I should stop now, my brain is like a leaking bucket and if I don't plug the hole then it's going to get bigger and I'm already going on enough as it is!

So much time, so little to do...

...or reverse that, as Willy Wonka would say.

I feel a bit melancholy today. I started at Royal Bolton Hospital today and literally had all the energy in me sapped out by the ridiculous induction programme.
I spent a lot of time "talking with my partner" about "how would I like to be treated if I was a patient?", "what is equality & diversity?" and "what things might start a fire?". I have been told such inane things as "saying thank-you is nice" and "be nice to patients".
It is a bit silly because I personally feel these qualities should have been screened before someone is offered a job - if I am a racist, xenophobic moron who thinks being nasty to patients is the way to go, then maybe it is too late to find out by the time of my induction.

There was then the usual hassle of not having my name on any lists, which is oddly rather affecting, as though you have been forgotten by everyone you meet!

I will have to start properly tomorrow - I am doing a brief study of Adolescent Health Services, which is a topic I am excited about, but I am also feeling rather lazy, and I have the feeling I am not going to make the most of my time in Bolton!

Wednesday 29 November 2006

NUS LGBT Winter Conference

Here is my report from NUS LGBT Conference this weekend, though I'll warn you...it's long 'un!






This was my second LGBT conference, and I was looking forward to leading the Manchester Cru down to London for what looked to be a pretty impressive line-up of workshops and sessions. Having met a lot of other LGBTs from the recent NUS LGBT North meet was also good; as we were looking forward to seeing lots of people we knew dahn sarf…
So in typical Seb-style, I will now rant off what we did all weekend!

Saturday 25th November
At 7am Geoff, Ian, Shelley, Jen and I met at Piccadilly station where we also saw Matt Smith and Alan Bailey from Salford LGBT, and also Alan Scobbie, the MMU Gay Rights Officer.
After watching the ticket machines refuse to serve Shell, we dashed around M&S Simply Food for snacks, and were refused when we tried to buy cool cocktails (Singapore Slings) in cans.
All the seats were reserved on the train so we sat in odd seats with no windows and had extremely inappropriate-for-a-public-space conversations that were largely started by Shelley.
On arrival at Euston, we met up with the guys from Salford and MMU who had been scattered about the train and we all walked down to the IoE together.
We soon bumped into Darren Batey and Scott Eastwood from Liverpool Hope (who we’d met at the NUS LGBT North meet), and Kate Rowley from UCL (who Shell and I knew from moth-ridden Summer Conference in Sheffield)

The sessions began with a welcome from Scott Cuthbertson and Claire Anderson, the NUS LGBT Officers. They are extremely approachable and friendly, are a really great pair and have worked so hard so far this year.

We then had a regional meeting with the other delegates from the NUS North Region (Merseyside to Tyneside), led by NUS LGBT Committee members James (Disabled Students), Vic (Women’s Place), Abi (Women’s FE) and Fran (Disabled Students). In what was to become a standard, we all had to sit with people we didn’t know, have a chat with them, and then introduce them to the group.
The NUS committee then told us a bit about how they wanted us to work together more as a region, especially as we are the largest region.

We then went for lunch and ate our free sandwiches before rejoining the queue to get more.

Then followed the Caucus groups for specific LGBT sub-groups: Women, Black Students, Bisexual Students, Disabled Students, Trans Students and Queer Students. Jen and I tried to attend Trans Caucus to try and help us learn a bit more about things but as we didn’t really identify as Trans we couldn’t go. I would have attended Queer Caucus but it wasn’t actually advertised, and apparently wasn’t even the room that some people were told anyway.

We used the gap whilst other Caucuses were running to check into our hotel, just over the road. Jen and Shell were sharing, as were Geoff and I, whilst Ian got to share with someone who I only really knew as the “bisexual dentist from Liverpool”! We were disappointed to note that BBC1 was not available on the TV, meaning that Strictly Come Dancing was not to be part of our evening schedule.

Following the Caucus groups, I attended a workshop on Trans issues given by GIRES with Jen. We found the couple who did the workshop really good. Although their talk was perhaps slightly medicalised, they were quite effective in getting the message across that being “trans” is not a mental health problem or attention-seeking, but just something that some people are. Their own personal experiences with their daughter were pretty moving too – their daughter was bullied terribly at work (Chessington World of Adventures) where there was a betting pool to see who could injure the girl the most and force her to leave work. Jen and I were happy to stay way after the official end-time to hear more.
We are considering asking GIRES to come to Manchester for LGBT Awareness Week in February 2007 as part of a number of activities based on educating people about LGBTQ issues.

The early evening slot was the “Reclaim the Night” march, which as a man I could not attend, and the alternative, a workshop, which had started before we had left the GIRES one, was on Men’s sexual health which didn’t really appeal to me as I know quite a lot about this anyway from activities within UMSU, Manchester LGBT, my degree and the Men’s Health Forum!

We went for awful dinner at the hotel – fish and chips with minging vegetables, and then went for the planned entertainment back at IoE. We had a good evening with our new friends from Liverpool Hope and UCL, and after the not-exactly brilliant bands we went to Soho. I was quite excited really, although to be honest my expectations were a bit dashed. We still had fun, but I definitely prefer a night out in Manchester. Of course, I totally managed to make a show of myself by excessive shouting and honking a passing rickshaw’s horn, but the night was a good continuation of the day’s networking with other Unions and it was great to get to other people better.

After taking a rather drunk delegate home we returned to the hotel to find that Jen was locked out of her room by an unwitting Shelley who thought we were scary random drunks knocking on the door, so we spent the night in Darren and Scott’s room like squatters!

Sunday 26th November
After 4 hours of not sleeping we were up again at 7.45am to get up and have breakfast before the Committee Reports section. As this was the only part of the Conference that required more than 50% of delegates to attend we made sure to be there only a little late. It was also the only time we would get to use our voting cards which I think may have also been a factor enabling us to actually get up!

It was then, rather annoying to find that we, being 20 minutes late, were the first delegation to arrive… What was worse was that by 10.30, when the session was supposed to close, that there were still not enough delegates present. Scott & Claire were justifiably irritated by the laziness of many delegates and had a bit of a rant at those of us who were there, but you could totally understand why. The Committee Reports section gives everyone a chance to know what everyone who has been elected is doing, and to bring those activities into question should the need arise. It is, therefore, a vital section of Conference! We were knackered, but the Conference costs £20 000 to put on, and each Union pays a fair amount to send everyone down, so I personally was quite angry that we had made the effort whilst others couldn’t be bothered, which effectively ruined the day’s schedule as the Reports had to fitted in later by cutting back on other sections. I was, however, very proud that Manchester NUS North region took Conference seriously.

Following a short recess, we moved onto a Plenary session on reconciling religion or faith with being LGBT. There were representatives from the Jewish student organisation BaGeLs (David Mitchell), Young Lesbian and Gay Christians (Sarah Hagger) and a Muslim ex-NUS and current UNISON staff member (Pav Aktar). They each spoke about their own experiences regarding their faith & being LGBT. It was a fascinating session, marred only slightly by Pav’s tendency to go on a bit, especially when it was about how great the Labour party are, which wasn’t really relevant! It was however, really positive to see that all three representatives noted how they had each had very similar experiences, which was perhaps a starting point for LGBT people to work together to make different faiths a bit more accepting of LGBT people.

After lunch, which we ate in the Safe Space, we then split again to go to various workshops. I went to the hastily-added-following-a-cancellation Student Pride workshop held by Tom Guy and Nick Imrie. Student Pride started in 2004 at Oxford Brookes SU in response to some homophobic groups on campus. It swelled the following year to an event attended nationally by hundreds. For 2007, Student Pride will be held in association with NUS LGBT, and so following discussions, Claire Anderson and Tom contacted me to ask whether I thought Manchester could host such an event. This workshop was to help them plan a bigger and better event which was properly geared to the needs and desires of its potential student attendees.
On arrival, Tom accosted me to ask/tell me that I would be talking about “Manchester” to the workshop. This is because Student Pride 2007 will be held in Manchester, at UMSU (and possibly MMSU too) and so I and others from UMSU, MMSU and USSU LGBTs will be helping to organise.
The first part of the workshop was a brainstorming session on what could be good to have. A major consensus was that Student Pride was a good opportunity to have a “non-commerical” Pride event, with a good mix of educational and fun activities.
Whilst a few of the ideas were a bit ambitious (full-on festival-like camping, 2000 people & major bands anyone?!), there were lots of great suggestions, such as on-site health facilities, sports events, street-theatre & performances, and my favourite: It’s A Knockout contests!
As the Manchester liaison, I had to outline what we had for LGBT people within Manchester city, as well as UMSU (this put a bit of a dampener on those who had suggested camping & portaloos – I said that the Arts Quad probably isn’t really big enough!). I also introduced Matt from Salford and Candice from Man Met.
At the end of the workshop, I stayed behind with the Greater Manchester Unions and we had a chat about what we could do. I also spoke with Tom and Nicki for far too long about a lot of the logistical things. However, overall, I’m very excited about being a small part of what looks to be an amazing event. Look out in June for Student Pride 2007! (www.studentpride.co.uk)

“Plenary B” followed, which was a short talk from a Liberal Democrat MP with a lot of interest in LGBT issues, and who sits on a number of relevant committees. His main point was to say that although the Labour government has definitely made unprecedented progress on LGBT issues, it has not necessarily been a willing process – a number of reforms that passed weren’t championed by MPs, rather they were forced through by European legislation. The point was that we still have to work so that MPs will vote on issues based on their consciences, and so that their consciences tell them that LGBT issues are important.
The session descended however as some Labour students took the opportunity to have a bit of a go at this guy, which seemed a bit unnecessary. It was quite sad to see such high-up NUS people unable to take in something from a person who was not-Labour - this guy wasn’t spinning things, he was simply telling the truth!

The last event was the final workshop on Women’s issues, which all of us from Manchester attended. We ended up having to take the side of “We do not believe there should be specific Women’s representation in Unions” in a rather staged debate that basically showed us how lame the arguments are for removing Women’s representation! We all agreed though that Claire Anderson, the current Women’s Place Officer, was excellent and quite inspiring – she seems to be of a different mould to the typical person at NUS and it’s quite refreshing!

After a lovely closing speech in which Scott and Claire thanked each other, we sprinted to Euston to get the fullest train home. The 7 of us from Manchester & Liverpool Hope were crowded down in the wheelchair section of the Quiet Zone coach, sat on each other’s legs. The combination of no space, incredible warmth, large number of sugary snacks, the long journey and the excitement of conference led to some rather bizarre behaviour…

Describe Conference in 5 words?
Inspiring, energising, thought-provoking, proud & FUN!


Seb Pillon
UMSU LGBT Secretary (Open Place)
November 2006

Sunday 19 November 2006

Queer TV

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/article/ds39562.html


Obviously I am revising hard (!) as I have come across this story. I check Digital Spy most days, as it has good news on Reality TV Shows (which I am ashamed but also proud of loving), and is well worth a look if you are interested in TV and media.


It's interesting that "gay" themed TV isn't thought to be going down that well in the UK. I'd love to believe the arguments that it's because LGBT issues are just so well covered by mainstream channels, but I can't help but feel that isn't true.


The BBC got a hard from Stonewall (http://www.stonewall.org.uk/media/tuned_out__gay_people_in_the_media/default.asp) for it's lack of depiction of LGBT people and characters, but I have to say I think it's one of the better channels.

I was waiting for the Strictly Come Dancing Results show last night, and caught the end of Casualty. There was a middle-aged female couple who had almost split up because one woman was worried about her partner's family rejecting them. The scene was totally natural and not a "lesbian" scene used to spice up an ailing drama. Last time I watched Casualty, a few weeks/months ago now, there was another female couple, younger and with different issues around emotional abuse.

Torchwood, my favourite programme of the moment is on BBC3 and repeated on BBC2. It hold the record for the largest non-terrestrial, non-sport audience figures, so is quite a big deal. All of the principal characters, within just 4 episodes, have been shown to be "omnisexual", as described by creator Russell T Davies. None are gay, straight, bisexual, but none of them are preoccupied with a label on their sexuality. They all show preferences but, no-one bats an eyelid at kissing someone of the same sex.


I think that Stonewall made a good point in saying that LGBT issues are often shied away from on TV, but I don't know that hitting the BBC was the best way to go about it - it really impresses me how the channels depict sexuality as no big deal. It's a part of the characters but it doesn't define them.


So back to the gay channel... I think it's great that there could be channel full of great LGBT role-models. If that's what it will be, but will it?

I can watch Will & Grace on LIVING TV all day, I'm not really arsed about a camp "Gay TV" style show, and do we need Pets win Prizes on repeat?! And of course, the gay-themed advertising to patronise me - I don't need hunky guys to persuade me to buy everything anyone wants to sell!

The point I'm making is that I want people who don't know about LGBT issues to be gently exposed to them via mainstream TV - what herterosexual bloke is going to flick to Queer Channel in an ad break?!

What I'd like to see is more production companies taking the lead of Casualty and Torchwood, and including a mix of sexualities into their characters without making an issue of it.


(Torchwood is at 10pm tonight on BBC3 - I should so be on commission!)

Friday 17 November 2006

The difficult second album

Well, now with that first post out of the way, I can rant on about proper stuff.

[I'm going to talk about vaginas in this section - so prepare yourself, or don't read it!]

On Monday I had a Gynaecology Clinic at Trafford General Hospital. Being a bloke is a bit of a disadvantage when it comes to vaginas. Women see me and automatically assume I must be a rapist or something, because no-one really wants to have me in clinic with them. And this is juts for the talking part, never mind the examination!
It's frustrating because I have my OSCE practical exam in 9 days, where I have to show how competent I am at certain skills. Trouble is that this exam is going to test a lot of skills that I've never had a chance to practice - because they involve vaginas.
There's a recruitment crisis in Obstetrics & Gynaecology. I can see why - I've spent the majority of this placement sat in a corridor - and that really isn't an exaggeration. Whereas my female colleagues can come and go as they please, I'm having to spend a lot more time hanging about to get just half the experience that they are. It's rubbish.
I guess it annoys me because it's sexist and insulting to me. I get that its embarrassing to be naked and exposed with strangers, but if you're willing to let a doctor and nurse see, what's the big deal with someone who could well be your doctor in a few years? I don't like the assumption made that because of my gender I must be there to get sexually excited - believe me, even if I was straight it would not be what I was thinking about. Bleeding endometria, diseased cerivices and vulval irritation don't really conjure up those kind of feelings.

The awkward first post

Eeek, I've gone and done it.

I used to have a blog when I was a moody teenager, but I grew out of it and I can't now find it, so it's time for a fresh start.

Why have I started one up again?

I guess blogs are inevitably a bit of an exercise in self-publicity. I want people to know what I'm up to, and I like writing so why not?

My friend Bev, who I very much admire and look up to (in a metaphorical sense - she is actually quite tiny!) has a blog at http://bevac.blogspot.com and so I thought I'd get in on the act.

What am I going to talk about? I'm in my final 18 months of training before I become a doctor. I came into medicine for a few reasons, and I've often found that my choices are different from others. Where I want to go and how I want to live my life seem different from my colleagues, and I find that interesting.
I'm also the UMSU LGBT Secretary, something I could never have imagined myself doing just 2 years ago. It takes over my life... but I really don't care. I love what I do and the sense of achievment it brings. Sometimes it's sad, but overall I wouldn't give it up for anything.

So there you go.

Phew, I'm glad this is over!